I want this understood: I'm really loving living in Belgrade.
I dig it.
I love the people. I love the general aesthetic of the place. And I love, absolutely LOVE, the cost of living here. (Seriously, it's unbelievable.)
But there are little things about living here that kind of suck.
Here's a couple of them:
1. Dog Dookie On The Sidewalk
I don't know what it is about the dogs here, but they are super into dropping their deuces on the sidewalk.
Right. In. The. Middle. Of. The. Sidewalk.
It's the weirdest thing.
I don't get it. I can be a lazy person, so I know what it's like to avoid picking up some puppy dog doo-doo butter. And I'm ok with just leaving it there (if no neighbors are watching).
But on the grass, people. Let your dog do his biz-nasty on the grass-y.
Seriously. Why do these dogs prefer scattin' on the asphalt?
Have you ever known a dog to choose cement over the lawn? Ever?
What is wrong with Belgrade's Animal Education System that this is the norm? Especially when there is literally grass right next to where these canines spilled their milk duds?
I just don't understand it. Walking to the store every day can be like tiptoeing through a stinky minefield.
I think I'm going to develop some sort of feces-related facial tick because of all the stress. It's killing me.
2. No Rootbeer
When you leave home, you never know what you're going to miss the most.
It could be your loving pet. Your adorable parents. Your comfy bed.
Or root beer.
It's like I don't even know how it tastes anymore. But I still want it. I want it bad.
I'm not even crazy into root beer, at least not like I was with Diet Mountain Dew and Cigarettes (probably equally healthy addictions).
But I miss it. I miss everything about it.
I miss the floats.
I miss the bubbles.
Someone send me a care package.
3. Easy Mac And Other Shitty Processed Foods
Serbia doesn't have a ton of easy-to-cook, processed BS that's full of preservatives and formaldehyde.
And I hate it.
Here in Belgrade, it's the opposite of how it is in America: the fresh food is the cheapest (like $0.89 for a kilo of potatoes) and the processed food is expensive.
I imagine that's because it's much easier to get fresh food than import the prepackaged stuff, but I'm not a fan.
I've never eaten healthier. Ever.
The other night, we cooked some beets and sprinkled some feta cheese on them. And I thought they were delicious.
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME?
Is this part of adulthood? Or has my body finally gone without Red Dye #17 for so long that it no longer craves it and the other strange chemicals like it?
I have no clue, but I do know that I miss being able to throw some delicious goo in the microwave, wait five minutes, and then devour it like a disgusting animal.
Everything Else Is Pretty Chill Though
It's been great.
The food here is basically meat, bread, cheese, and peppers, so I love that.
The people don't seem to hate Americans all that much (or at all), which is surprising considering...
And everything is dirt-cheap, which is perfect.
I'm enjoying myself.
You should come visit. And bring me some root beer. And peanut butter. Bring that too.